In a previous blog post we talked about the challenge of having too many or unprioritized goals.
While that’s certainly a situation that can slow you down, consider yourself lucky if that’s what you’re dealing with. Because the far bigger and more problematic challenge is having the wrong goals.
What Does It Mean to Have the “Wrong” Goals?
Having the “wrong” goals can show up in lots of different ways, but the most common iteration means having goals that you claim are your own but they actually don’t take you anywhere near where you want to go.
What this typically will look like is having a goal that is easier, safer, or more “respectable.”
It’s deciding that your boring ol’ office job is actually “fine” and you’ll be completely content to spend the next 30 years of your life on whatever career path that route leads you to.
It’s deciding that your current relationship is fine even though you make each other miserable, but “love takes work” and it’s not all gumdrops and rainbows, so being miserable most of the time is normal, amiright?
It’s lowering the bar for who you want to be and how you want to live.
It’s setting a goal that sells yourself short as a way of saving yourself the discomfort of going after what you really want.
You Deserve the Life You Want to Create
If your goal is to be a financially independent artist that travels the world and has amazing experiences, don’t sell yourself short by resetting your goal to be something more modest, like a graphic designer at an ad agency.
Sure, being a graphic designer could be a stepping stone, but don’t try to trick yourself into believing it’s THE goal just because it’s easier or safer. You’re going to end up feeling frustrated and unmotivated, which won’t serve anybody, least of all you.
Before becoming a life coach I was at a crossroads trying to figure out what to do next with my life.
I was doing a lot of freelance work as a copy and content writer and started thinking about how maybe I could start taking some classes toward a technical or UX writing certificate. After all, these were tried and true professions that paid decently. I could do a lot worse, right?
I knew I wanted to transition into coaching and start making a living in a way that provided me with FREEDOM and allowed me to HELP PEOPLE.
But coaching seemed so far off. Could I actually do it? How would I even get started?
Luckily I caught myself before I signed up for writing certificate programs. I probably could have done well with the work but it would have made me MISERABLE.
I know this for a fact because I did start taking on freelance writing clients as I built up my coaching business. I was grateful for the work but definitely learned that I didn’t want to do it for my whole life.
Being a technical or UX writer would have been a “safe” path to reasonable security, but how safe and secure would I really have been if I found myself in a situation where I was miserable and unmotivated with my work each day?
Make a Choice to Choose the “Right” Goals For You
I realized that if I was ever going to be happy I needed to take the leap toward what I really TRULY wanted. No more messing around with “safe” dreams or second-tier ideas. If I’m going to commit the next couple of years of my life towards developing the skills and getting a new career off the ground, I better make damn sure it’s a career I actually want.
Was it scary?
Yep.
Did I struggle for money for a while?
Of course!
Did I still manage to make it through it and come out stronger and closer to thriving on the other end?
You bet!
And so do I have any regrets?
None at all.
Get clear on what you want, why you want it, and get good at eliminating the goals you don’t want from your life.
Your future self will thank you for it.
How To Make Sure You Aren’t Pursuing the Wrong Goals
If you’ve done the visioning exercise from the previous blog post, now is the time to take a look at what you’re working towards and if they align with the vision you have for your life.
Does your current set of goals and aspirations align with that vision you have for your life? If not, what do you think is going on? What goals can you eliminate and replace with new goals that take you closer to where you want to go?
This exercise might be surprisingly scary at first, but overtime as you let the possibilities of different path in life settle in, you should actually feel a mix of certitude and excitement, with a little bit of anxious tension.
This is how you know you’re on the right track.
On any given day we’ll have a number of tasks and projects set in front of us. These all represent competing priorities in our world that we need to prioritize. What do we focus on first?