Have you ever had one of those ultra earnest moments where a close friend, a parent, a mentor, a confidant, or anybody close to you very honestly, emphatically, and directly told you how proud they are of you? How they’ve seen you work and grow and found it inspiring? How they think you’re special and worthy of love, appreciation, respect, etc? Have you had a moment like that? I mean, this is some serious Mr Rodgers shit, right?
Maybe some of us experience this regularly. Maybe some of us have only been on the receiving end of this once or twice in our lives. Unfortunately, some of us may have only experienced in the context of an abusive or manipulative relationship.
How did it make you feel in the moment? Did it make you feel special and worthy in way that you’re not always accustomed to feeling? Did you feel a flutter in your chest and perhaps a deeper level of connection and being “seen” from the person sharing this with you?
Sometimes this can even be uncomfortable. You don’t trust the person, or you question their motives, Or maybe you’re just in such a low place and self opinion of yourself that you simply can’t accept it.
But here’s the deal… one of the most powerful things you can do towards your own personal growth is to do this for yourself.
What I mean by this is to go to a mirror, look yourself dead in the eyes, and share with yourself all the reasons you’re proud of you.
Share with yourself the reasons you think you’re great.
Share with yourself how you understand the things you’re struggling with right now but that you believe in you. You’ll find a way to get through whatever it is you’re going though and emerge as a stronger more spectacular you.
I know it sounds weird. I know it seems cheesy. But I’m telling you… it works. It can be one of the most profound gifts you ever give to yourself.
Before trying this for myself the first time, I thought I was going to roll my eyes so hard that they’d get stuck staring straight up into my skull. I figured this was about to be the cheesiest most ridiculous thing I was going to try on my personal development journey. I assumed that when I did it, it would be so painfully obvious that I was doing it to myself that anything I said would be pointless and unconvincing. Like, I would have known what I was saying. It was me saying it me. That’ll never work. Right?
First off, I was surprised how much I had to psyche myself up to do it. I’ve jumped into a freezing cold ocean with less hesitation.
Nobody was watching me. If it wasn’t working all I had to do was walk away from the mirror. So what did I have to worry about? If this is going to be such a dumb pointless exercise, why am I so scared to do it? This actually reaffirmed for me how important it could potentially be.
The way I tricked myself into doing it was by setting a timer on my phone for two minutes. I figured no matter how corny, cheesy and cringe inducing the exercise was, two minutes was nothing. I could try it once, dive in completely for two measly minutes, and if it ended up being super awkward and pointless I would walk away and never speak of it again.
Yet when I set that timer and turned to face myself in the mirror, I was shocked by how intense an experience it was right off the bat.
One, I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually looked myself in the eyes before. I knew I had, but it had been years. People always told me I had very nice kind eyes. Now for the first time ever I was really truly seeing that for myself.
Second, talking to myself in the mirror worked. I felt like I was simultaneously talking up my best friend and being on the receiving side of my best friend saying nice things to me. It was a double dose of positive feelings, to both give and receive.
At the time I had made giant leap into something important for me, but it was struggling out of the gate. I was incredibly worried about how it would go.
I told myself that I believed in myself. That if things didn’t work out, it’d still be okay. I reminded myself of other times I had taken big important leaps in my life and how even the ones that didn’t work out had led to other unexpected benefits. And most of all I just told myself that I loved myself and no matter what I’d be there for me.
It worked. It felt amazing. For the whole day I felt like I could take on the world. Ever since it’s been one of my primary go to habits for getting through difficult times or just psyching myself up for the next set of leaps.
So this is the moment when I invite you to try it for yourself too. You can set a timer on your phone for two minutes and give it a shot.
If you don’t like the idea, perhaps check in with yourself about where the hesitation is coming from.
It’s possible that this exercise isn’t for everybody, but also there’s almost nothing to lose by trying it. The most you have to lose is two minutes of your life and the energy it takes to get up and walk to your bathroom mirror.
The most you have to gain is a whole new level of confidence and sense of self.
That seems like a pretty good set of trade-offs to me.
Give it a try. Let us know how it goes.
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Storytelling is a fascinating aspect of how we perceive the world and exist as humans. If you’d like to learn more, download the Storytelling Primer below and start learning more about storytelling today.