Growth Requires Believing You Can Grow

One of the biggest challenges I see people having with making shifts in their life is when they’ve fallen into a state of learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness happens when we feel a sense of powerlessness over our life. We stop believing it’s possible to make changes, and even lose the ability to solve problems.

This can arise from a traumatic experience, a persistent failure to succeed, or even a pattern that’s existed and been unexamined since childhood.

One of the ways learned helplessness has shown up in my life has been struggles around money.

In the past I’ve worked lots of underpaying jobs that told me they couldn’t afford to give me a raise. I’ve also had jobs that paid better but completely drained my soul.

I came to feel like there was never going to be a way for me to make a good living doing something that mattered to me. I had the choice of being fulfilled and broke, or financially comfortable, but with no soul. There was no inbetween.

I thought a lot about wealth inequality and how the unfair distribution of wealth will only make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

While I do believe this is true, it also dawned on me that I had quietly latched my sense of learned helplessness around money onto this idea. I told myself that I’ll never make money because the billionaire class is out to get me. So I might as well not try.

Something definitely needs to be done about wealth inequality, but I’m also a smart educated person. I can find a way to make money doing something I love. I just need to believe it’s possible.

Part of the process has been to remind myself a little bit each day how I am capable of making money, both through work like positive affirmations, but also getting out there and doing it, one step at a time. Getting a coach to help me make a plan and remind me of my progress was a huge help too.

Is learned helplessness something you struggle with in your life?

I’ll be hosting a mini workshop / discussion on learned helplessness and the Fixed vs Growth Mindset via Zoom on Thursday, December 16, at 1 p.m. PST. The link to sign up is here.

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